See A World

I've finally done it. I've made the final plans and reservations for our trip to Sea World this Spring. It's hard to figure out where to take a 9 month old and 2 year old. Would they enjoy the Grand Canyon? What about Big Sky, Montana? Ahh Heck, who am I kidding? They'll be happy/miserable/unpredictable wherever we go. But we'll be going in style. I insisted on a decent resort to stay in for a good price, and found it this afternoon. It only took me seventeen hours of sorting through 1,256 hotels to find it. And reading the reviews about all of them gets very tiring. Some people are soooo picky. For example:
"Our room was not exactly clean. I checked under the bed, behind the dresser, inside all the drawers and on the window sills and found a smidgon of dust. We certainly won't stay HERE again."
Oh, please. Don't ever come to my house, then. And why check behind the dresser? Will you be eating off that wall?
Anyway, we're only staying four nights and bringing loads of baby stuff. Two ginormous car seats, one ginormous double stroller, two booster seats, a portable potty seat, bottles, and. . . wait a minute. I may be able to rent this stuff from some rental place. I've done it before. Yay! Back to the internet to search for more vacation stuff. This is really exhausting. . .

Which vagina do I use?

A patient came to see me yesterday and through our discussion I discovered she was in need of some vaginal hormone cream. I wrote her a prescription and sent her on her way. Today she called my nurse and asked how to use the cream. "Just use it as prescribed," she told her. "But it says to put 2 grams into BOTH vaginas," she said. "What other place am I supposed to put it in?" The nurse thought about it a second and said "I guess just put it in your ear. It will meet up eventually. . . "

Honest to God true story.

Ya gotta love the South.

Blankeeeeee!!!!

I did a really stupid thing two years ago. I bought a yellow receiving blanket and constantly put it in my daughter's crib. She eventually became attached to it and now, at 21 months, is obsessed with it. She drags it everywhere and it gets extremely dirty. Today I washed it and that was the longest hour and a half of my life. You would have thought I was cutting off her right arm the way she screamed. So I vowed to find some extra blankets to have on reserve.

The problem is that this particular blanket has been discontinued. Luckily I have found two on ebay and have bids on both. What the sellers don't know is that I'd pay $100 for them if I had to. I hope they're not reading this blog. . . .

Minivans R Us

I have finally convinced the better half that we need a minivan. It took a test drive to do it. He has been resisting for months because they're just not attractive. He wanted a bigger SUV instead. I said, "well, let's go for a test drive of both cars and see what we think." Heh, heh, heh. So I dutifully drove the Sequoia and made comments like "Wow, it's so BIG and roomy. I need a stepstool to get the girls in their carseats, but I need the exercise, so that's a plus!" Then we drove the Sienna (minivan) and gosh darnit if it doesn't have more cargo space than the Sequoia! Automatic side doors and rear hatch. Fold down third row seats! DVD player and cupholders everywhere! It even has a navigation system with a rearview camera that goes on everytime you put the car in reverse! I won't run over small animals or children backing out of the garage! Such convenience! Such comfort! Each child gets her own seat!

Ahhhh. So he was convinced. "But we're not buying a new one! That's a waste of money! They depreciate worse than any other car! And I won't be seen in it!"

Ok. I'll be seen in it. Every single day. And I'll wear my minivan badge of parenthood with pride. Now if I can only talk him into the navigation system with rearview camera. . .